I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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