you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize