good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
