didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
