He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
