no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
