she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This toilet bowl is my home.
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