Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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