Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize