You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
