Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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