She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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