u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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