try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
