Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
