I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
