she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
