Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
tonight lets celebrate not being married
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
