she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
