I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
