Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it's like heaven, but drunker
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
