I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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