If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
