Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
