don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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