Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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