you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
