Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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