i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
