Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
