My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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