Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
