Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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