i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
