My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
