I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
