does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
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