I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
