I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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