mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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