I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
