His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
