u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
