Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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