Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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