There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
