Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
