yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
