i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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