Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
