she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
