His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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