The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
