She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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