My brain says no but my pants say off.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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