My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
