too bad you live with your parents still
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
