And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
