Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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