white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
