Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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