Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
