my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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