just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
