Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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