when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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