Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
