when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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