he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
