I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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