Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
