Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
