Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize