so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
