Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
