I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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